WhatIf Box
by Darkmeadow
Summary: Funny Naruto randomness Rated for possible bad language and adult humor.Not ALWAYS funny.Oneshots
1. The Picture

What if Hinata hated Naruto?

It was a normal enough day as Sakura and Ino headed down the main street of konaha. Hinata was running at top speed in the opposite direction.

"Hey Hinata what's up?"Ino Yelled.

Hinata came to a stop just in front of them.

Hinata started laughing "Naruto has a TINY penis!"Hinata Skreeched and ran past them "If you want to see give me five bucks!"

Sakura and Ino stared in shock at Hinata's retreating back.

"Hinata! Come back here! Give us the camera!"Naruto yelled as he ran past them.

"What the hell is going on!" Sakura yelled

"What a bother." Shikamaru complained.

"What happened Shikamaru?"Ino asked.

"Hinata snuck into the bath house and got pictures of Naruto naked."

Sakura and Ino started laughing."Who would pay for a picture of Naruto?" Ino said.

The three of them stared in disbelief as Gaara walked past them grinning from ear to ear, picture in hand.

"Oh my god! Was that what I think it was!"


	2. Konoha Ed

What if the Konoha ninja had to take sex ed?

The tweve of them walked in and sat down."What a joke."Sasuke growled.

"I wonder who is going to teach this class?"Hinata whispered.

"What do you mean Hinata?"Ino asked.

"Well it's not like we're going teach yourself you know."

"Oh yeah."Ino said blushing."you're right but who in the world-"

"Okay you brats lets not waste any time!"Tsunade yelled banging in the door."First off, who in here has had sex before?"

Everyone stared in disbelief."ARE YOU FOR REAL!"Naruto screamed.

"Shut Up Naruto,as for the rest of you anser the question!"Tsunade said as she glared at everyone in the room.To everyone's surprise Hinata raised her hand followed by Neji raising his."Okay you two go in the other room I will talk to you guys seprately."

Neji and Hinata walked out.

"So Hinata-sama want to play cards?"Neji asked.

"Your on Neji Nii-san."Hinata said smiling.

They heared a scream from the classroom."Oh my god! It's a porno!"

"I don't even want to know." Neji said looking back at his cards.

"Nope." Hinata said.

Tsunade came in and slamed something on the table.

"What are those Hokage-sama?"Hinata asked.

"Condom cases.Remember to come to me if you run out of condoms."

Neji and Hinata stared at Tsunade in disbelief."For real?"Neji asked.Hinata just started turning darker and darker shades of red.


	3. Uchiha Fashion Fight

What if Itachi never left?

"Ahh! I'm so late!" Hinata screeched as she ran down the street pulling on her coat. "Why did I stay up so late anyway?" As she rounded the corner she came upon one of the weirdest things you can see on the crowded streets of Konaha .

"What the hell did you do that for foolish little brother?"

"Because your taste in clothes sucks!"

"Like your one to talk!"

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

"A one size fits all black jumpsuit? Just what look are you trying for?"

Hinata stared at the fighting Uchiha brothers in disbelief. _'Why are they fighting over clothes?'_ she wondered as she started running again. She saw Naruto up ahead "Hey Naruto! Why are Sasuke and Itachi fighting?"

Naruto looked exasperated "Their still at it?" Hinata nodded "Well... this morning Sasuke burned Itachi's Cloak with the Grand Fireball technique."

"Oh my gosh! Why?" Hinata asked in surprise.

"Got me. Why don't you ask?"

"Yeah right. I'm not stupid Naruto." Just then a huge boom echoed though the village.

" I've got a bad feeling about that."

"...Really? You don't say..."


	4. Dose That Count?

What if genjutsu users got more creative?

Sakura grinned ,it was her turn at last. "Okay Hinata ,truth or dare!"

Hinata blushed a little and said, "Truth."

Sakura smile got wider 'she never be able to answer this one' "Okay then...Hinata! Have you ever had sex?"

Hinata turned bight red and said "Umm I'm not sure..."

All the girls stared in disbelief "How can you not be sure?" Ino asked.

"Umm...well..you see..." Hinata turned brighter red. "One time I got trapped in a genjutsu and the person who trapped me in it did ...stuff like that to me..."

"Oh...my god you mean that actually happened to you?" Ino asked again.

Hinata nodded. All the girls looked at eachother. " So dose that count?" Hinata asked. They all sat thinking about it for a minute.

"We could ask Tsunade-sensei I guess." Sakura said finally

"Good idea!" Ino said " Lets go ask Tsunade!"

Hinata looked at them all getting up to go find Tsunade. 'This is gonna suck' she thought to herself as she got up to follow.

Tsunade looked at them all gathered in front of her "What the hell kind of question is that?" She yelled.

"But Tsunade-sensei! It actually happened to Hinata!" Ino yelled

Tsunade stared at the red faced girl in front of her 'she looks so embarrassed' Tsunade thought to herself. "No from a physical standpoint that doesn't technically count as sex." Tsunade said almost gently. "But if you have questions about sex Hinata dose know the answers."

As the girls headed out of the tower they all suddenly had a thought "Hey Hinata? who used genjutsu to have sex with you?"

Hundreds of miles away Sasuke Uchiha sneezed.


	5. If I saw you go

What if Hinata was the one who saw Sasuke before he left?

What if Hinata was the one who saw Sasuke before he left?

Hinata stood quietly in the shadows waiting for Sasuke to pass her. She watched as he came down the street toward her. "You shouldn't go." she said softly, "He'll kill you you know."

Sasuke looked at her. "What do you care what I do?"

Hinata looked him in the eyes and said, "I'm nothing to you but to me your a comrade I might not know you very well but I know something you don't seem to. Your not as alone as you think. I still have my family, and yet I've been alone everyday of my life."

Sasuke glared at her "You think you know anything about me! I have no one! I've got nothing left but revenge!"

Hinata looked at him again "Your wrong.You have Naruto and Sakura."

Sasuke said simply "Is that why your here?To make Naruto happy?"

Hinata sighed "No. I'm here because your making a mistake. They won't let you leave. Your hurting them by doing this!"

Sasuke said "This is about Naruto even if you won't admit it."

"So what if it is? Your like a brother to him!" Hinata yelled.

Sasuke looked at her eyes wide. "That's not true. Naruto doesn't think of me like I'm his brother...he can't!"

Hinata sighed again "Why is revenge so important anyway, wouldn't living life like he never existed hurt him more?"

Sasuke looked away. "You can't understand how I feel."

Hinata smiled softly "Your probably right." She moved to the side. "Go. See how far you get. But they're going to miss you because your part of they're family even if your not here."

**Tell me what you think :) thanks to those of you that reveiw my little story I loves you!**


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